;)

...

 // TOP SECRET Microsoft(c) Code
 // Projected release-date: Summer 1997

=

 #include "win31.h"
 #include "win95.h"
 #include "evenmore.h"
 #include "oldstuff.h"
 #include "bill_rulz.h"
 #define INSTALL =3D HARD

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 char make_prog_look_big[1600000];

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 void main()
 {

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 while(!CRASHED) {
      display_copyright_message();
      display_bill_rules_message();
      do_nothing_loop();

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      if (first_time_installation) {;
           make_50_megabyte_swapfile();
           do_nothing_loop();
           totally_screw_up_HPFS_file_system();
           search_and_destroy_the_rest_of_OS/2();
           hang_system();
      }

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      write_something(anything);
      display_copyright_message();
      do_nothing_loop();
      do_some_stuff();

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      if (still_not_crashed) {
           display_copyright_message();
           do_nothing_loop();
           basically_run_windows_3.1();
           do_nothing_loop();=E5
           do_nothing_loop();
      }
 }

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 if (detect_cache())
      disable_cache();

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 if (fast_cpu()) {
      set_wait_states(lots);
      set_mouse(speed, very_slow);
      set_mouse(action, jumpy);
      set_mouse(reaction, sometimes);
 }

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 /* printf("Welcome to Windows 3.11"); */
 /* printf("Welcome to Windows 95"); */
 printf("Welcome to Windows 98");
 if (system_ok())
      crash(to_dos_prompt);
 else
      system_memory =3D open("a:\swp0001.swp", O_CREATE);

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 while(something) {
      sleep(5);
      get_user_input();
      sleep(5);
      act_on_user_input();
      sleep(5);
 }

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 create_general_protection_fault(); --

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-- =